“Fish Pigs” by Yack Sabbath

“Fish Pigs” by Yack Sabbath

Let’s face it, life would be a lot better if everybody everywhere had his own theme music. I mean, if some big movie or TV hero just gets into his car and drives somewhere, a whole symphony orchestra suddenly cranks up with blasting trumpets and pounding drums and such, and you KNOW that some heavy stuff is about to come down!

And, deep in your heart, you know — know, mind you! — that because you are a real person and not some fictional character, because you are the hero of your life… well, my friends, in any truly just universe, you would deserve something like that.

I mean, who among us, while hurtling down the highway toward some ramp or launch site, hasn’t psyched himself up with some favorite tunes blasting out of the dashboard, right?
But, always, there’s that inevitable letdown when a little voice in some tiny corner of your brain reminds you: “Yeah, but it’ll never be perfect, because it’s not about kayak fishing, it’s just some rock song! I want some kayak fishing music!!”

Well, ladies and gentlemen, today is the day that we all take one tiny step forward toward a great sea-change in American culture — the birth of kayak fishing Rock n’ Roll! Sure, it won’t catch on all at once. Cultural paradigm shifts take time. Maybe the next step will happen in some sleazy dockside dive, when a totally hammered old kayak fishing guide who got skunked that day decides to change Karaoke Night forever. Maybe some late-night DJ at a 50-watt teakettle in Steinhatchee gets some bad ‘shrooms and goes “all kayak fishin’ music, all the time!” But I submit to you that, at last, our long national nightmare will soon be over.

And so, complete with italicized mouth-guitar pseudo-sounds for your further enjoyment, here are the complete lyrics to…..

“Fish Pigs” by Yack Sabbath

DUH-duh!
Fishes gathered in their masses
DUH-duh!
Spotted trout and channel basses
DUH-duh!
Some use fangs for bait destruction
DUH-duh!
Some use grinding teeth and suction
DUH-duh!
On the flats the baitball’s churning
DUH-duh!
As the spinning reels keep turning… Oh, Lord yeah!

DUH-duh… da-duh-duh-DUUUUH-DUUUUH
DUH-duh… da-duh-duh-DUUUUH-DUUUUH

(Fiddler crabs just hide themselves away
They only started the war
Why should they go out and get devoured
When they can dig into the shore?)

DUH-duh!
Now at sunrise tide starts turning
DUH-duh!
Mud clouds where the rays are churning
DUH-duh!
No more redfish have the power
DUH-duh!
Walk-the-Dog has struck the hour
DUH-duh!
Day of Judgment, drags are squawling
DUH-duh!
Dorsals up and redfish hauling
DUH-duh!
Begging mercy for their sins
DUH-duh!
Kayakfisherman laughs and grins… Oh, Lord yeah!

DUH-duh… da-duh-duh-DUUUUH-DUUUUH
DUH-duh… da-duh-duh-DUUUUH-DUUUUH

(DISCLAIMER: Only a few dozen beers were harmed during the production of this head-tune.)

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