The answer is 14 minutes

[shamus]

I case anyone ever asks you how long it takes to strangles a 2' lady fish that is attached to the back of your left hand by one of those new mini mirrodines. The answer is 14 minutes
12 minutes just won't do it. They act like they're dead so you can try to remove hooks from your hand but they're only playing possum. After 12 minutes they start acting like a wild ass ladyfish all over again. This by the way will just piss you off to no end when you have one barb scrathing the inside of your knuckle on your ring finger.
Another fact of interest is never hold a bleeding half strangled lady fish that is attached to the back of your left hand over the side of your kayak to prevent all that nasty blood from getting inside your kayak. When you do that you see these odd looking fins pop out of the water and circle your kayak. I don't care if it's only a 3 or 4 foot bonnethead it's unnerving . Especially when you can't paddle away due to a wildass ladyfish attached to the back of your left hand.
I should have known to turn around and go back to bed when the God fearing christan woman in her Eldorado decided God was on her side and it was OK to cut off the heathen going fishing instead of church. When one slams on thier breaks to avoid the God fearing christian woman one tends to spill thier newly bought coffee all over the cab of thier swerving truck.
If you want to know why McDonalds makes thier coffe scalding hot it's so you know that it has spilled all over the inside of your swerving truck and has burnt the holy fuck out of you legs.
Now the wild ass lady fish attached itself to the back of my left hand because I was in the middle of a huge blitz. It looked like everything is Sarasota was gorging themselves. I was dealing with the lady fish when somethind to my left exploded , Sounded Tarpon like. When I turned my head to see That's when the afore mentioned lady fish and I became attached.
All in all a great morning out on the water.

[DirksFishin]

Ok not meaning to laugh but damn that was funny to me the reader. Sounded like a National Lampoons trip. Like everyone on this forum has screamed at me for. Mash those damn barbs. Sounds like a less then par day on the water. I for one don't care for any sharks circling me I always tend to think where there's one there's bound to be others. Better luck next time. Usually I hate lady fish unless I'm with my kids to them they're a blast. Maybe if you repented before you launched you might have had better luck? :-p

[DaveR]

While that was a great read I must respectfully disagree with the previous responders post. Keep those barbs high man! When the next lady fish lands itself in your lap and the attached hooks impale your Long Island the story will be Pulitzer Prize winning!

[shamus]

I have always made it a practice of masking down my barbs. It does you no good when you have 2 out of three hooks in your hand. First was in the back of my ring finger the other was in the side of my pinky. Not deep but it did help in the overall clusterfuck ! Once the terrorist ladyfish was dispatched the mirrodine came right out.
Don't worry I've been practicing the patented DaveR stiff elbow to the gills move. Nothing is getting into my Native!

[Manning]

Boy do you know how to have fun or what. After that little bit of excitement I bet you could use 2 fingers of something other than Mirrodine.

[TRKpoker]

OK, I just got in from 9 hrs of fishing off 4 hrs of sleep and I am so beat I could barely turn on the computer but sir....you just made my day.

[Ump608]

Holy Crap!!!, As we say in the umpire world " I got nuthin', coach"

[rugrat181]

Nothin' like a good ole fish hook in the hand story to start my Monday. Ouch!! Glad you thought it was a good day but I'd hate to be there on a bad day. LOL....

[tony66]

ok, that was just freakin' hilarious, you have to sub,it that story to one of the fishing mags or web sites that feature funny fishing stories (well, funny to the rest of us, maybe another month before you see the humor like we do-sorry). I say that with all due respect, BTW, a video would've been even better.

[JoeS]

I needed that.......Funny.....

[Norm]

Boy Bill....you Catholics sure know how to have fun

[shamus]

....you Catholics sure know how to have fun

That would be BINGO

[BearsFan]

You don't often hear of such incidents while fly fishing, heathen.

[Rik]

Fly fishermen catch their ears before they catch fish.

[shamus]

You don't often hear of such incidents while fly fishing, heathen.

The horror stories I have about fly fishing will cost you several cold beers. It will be worth it.

a video would've been even better.

I would have but I didn't have a free hand at the time.

[Ump608]

Guys, ran into the victim at the gym yesterday, story is even funnier in person.....