Dear Fellers,
A bunch o' us former members of the Yak Basswards Kayakfishin' Club an' Pole-Dancin' Academy
took a river trip on the Withlacoochee last week, an' I figgered I'd write you fellers about it.
Mind ya, with all that paper out on our members ever since that Attorney General joker de-cided we
was a whatchacall "organ-ized an' on-goin' menace ta society", we felt awful funny not bein' able ta
wear our club vests, but we made do.
We was gittin' a lot o' strange looks from people onshore, what with them overalls an' fake beards
we was wearin', but gittin' ta kayakfish again felt so good I started singin':
I-i-i-i-i-i-i-i am a ma-a-a-a-a-an of constant rodplay
I've caught lu-u-u-u-u-unkers all my days
I-i-i-i-i-i-i-i said farewe-e-e-ell to outboard motors
Infernal noises and po-llutin' ways
Then my two buddies would cut in with the harmony:
(On stinkpots he-e-e-e-e-e was born an raised)
Anyhow, we was a-paddlin' along, trollin' some Rapalas, when we heard this STRANGE-soundin' music.
We come 'round a bend an' there was three o' the sluttiest-lookin' gals ya ever seen, an' they was
a-washin' their unmentionables in the Withlacoochee down in back o' some shack with a big neon
sign said "Raylene's".
We hove to, and 'fore ya know it, they was a-passin' out cold mugs an' a-runnin' their fingers through
the ol' Dapper Dan, an a-singin' some kinda weird lullabye thang:
Have a brew, little ba-a-a-a-a-a-by
Another brew, little ba-a-a-a-a-a-by
Mama's in the club and you're gonna need a rub
From the ever-lovin' tassel-dancin' la-a-a-a-a-a-dies
Wellsir, when we come to, me an' Delmer was a-layin' on the riverbank, but Pete had got hisself
turned inta a Spro Frog by one o' them gals, an' I had ta carry him around fer three days in the
bib pocket o' my overalls. (Thank God fer them weedless hooks is all I got ta say.)
Sincerely,
Bubba Joe Jim Bob Beets, Jr.
Director o' Leisure Activities
Raylene's Titty Bar, Fly Shop & Kayakfishin' Museum
Dunnellon, FL
PS --- Sorry 'bout that. Ever doggoned time the weather gits crappy like this an' I cain't kayakfish, I wind
up suckin' down a coupla sixpacks o' PBR, an' my typin' fingers jist go CRAZY! Anyhow, I'm PURTY sure
this all happened.
Withlacoochee Fishin' Re-port
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Re: Withlacoochee Fishin' Re-port
Nice1....Raylene's I luv dat place. aks fur da 69 da nex time. dem lady's fart in you face twice and then ya get 67 more...good stuff
Re: Withlacoochee Fishin' Re-port
For real....?
"They paved paradise and put up a parking lot" Joni Mitchell
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Re: Withlacoochee Fishin' Re-port
As a wise man once said..Great Googly Moogly
Senior Exalted Pro Staff Member of the Paddle-Fishing.com Kayak & Canoe Anglers Club