FWC - weekend follies and a bit more...UPDATE

[jbdba01]

Queue the theme to Miami Vice...

• Boom ching booom...

Queue the flying birds...

• Boom ching booom...

Queue the Jai Jai players

• Boom Boom Chi a Boom ba Ching...

Is it Don Johnson coming across Biscayne Bay...nope....it's the FWC cutting across Simmons Park in 1-2 ft of water in a no wake, manatee zone, cutting up grass...awesome. And it's not from the boat ramp in the channel South to North, but through the skinny stuff - North to South. So they're tearing it up big time and for a long ways. Looking good guys - hats backwards, guns holstered, video camera running...too bad it's about to get REAL skinny...like walk your kayak skinny.

2 seconds later the roar of the engine running a ground scares everything within 3 miles. You got two choices now - gun it and hope you can power through or shut it down. They opt to gun it...grass, sand, kick up in a huge rooster tail. The boat surges to a stop. One more throttle up and it's over. Hard aground. On the plus side there's a new hole to fish just outside the channel - complete with skeg mark running for a LONG ways North. A "natural" highway for the reds. Sweet...

I asked them if they needed help getting out - "No we have help coming."

Help?? You have help coming? I thought you were the help. So much for responding to an emergency. Awesome...

I holler out, "You know I could come out there and rock you guys out. You're pretty close to the channel." For the non-stinkpotters that rocking the boat back and forth to slowly displace the sand under the boat so that eventually you can get out.

"No we're OK."

Beauty... if I haul ass across the bay potentially hitting manatees, cutting up grass, in a no wake zone it's a stiff fine, but if they do it no sweat. They didn't even get out of the boat to try. Geeze...gotta give 'em style points though - they looked good running aground and tearing it up. Hope that Merc liked the sand in the motor too.

Queue Sponge Bob..."Two Hours Later..."

We hear the engine fire up and tear up some more grass and sand. In my mind I hear Patrick - "Gun it Sponge Bob. We'll get loose" They gun it once, twice, and get loose. There was much rejoicing.

Queue the chicks in the bikinis...

• Boom Ching Boom

So how close were they... see below.

[DoubleM]

wow, nice catch and narrative

[snooker56]

You should have paddled up and said, "I'm sorry folks, but I'm gonna have to give you a ticket for..."

[krash]

Should have gotten better photo's including hull id number, date, time.. and report them, send the photos and vid to FS Mag.

[22acrowd]

As a whole, FWC is pretty useless. They should cut the department all together and start new. National Park Service is just about as useless. You should see some of the kids they have running boats around the Everglades. Good to see our tax dollars at work.

[DaveR]

My perception is they are a couple of assholes. Now, there might be more to the story so I'll leave it with a perception. Most of the FWC guys I have met, and it's just a handful, seem to be pretty good guys. This from a fella that doesn't have a high opinion of law enforcement folks in general.
By the way. I enjoy your posts. Thanks for your contributions to the board.

[1okbyme2]

"The rules are for the little people" Leona Helmsly

[Todd]

Have you thought about reporting this incident further up the chain of command? Actions like that are uncalled for.

[Heywood]

They were staking out a section of the south shore this weekend. Clueless idiots.

[Tide1on]

Clueless idiots.

More like...

[Chief1600]

Certainly doesn't seem to be a good explanation for this. On the other hand I deal with law enforcement types on a regular basis. By and large they are dedicated men and women doing a difficult job. As with any group, civilian or uniformed, there are some idiots thrown in the mix. Doesn't seem reasonable to paint all of them with the same brush.

[jbdba01]

Looks like this thread has hit a nerve or people found it humorous - humor was the intention. First let me just stick to the facts.

• This is a chronicle of a single incident that occurred Sunday 2/13/2011. It is not a broad stroke defaming FWC.
  The boat in question was flying/running across the flats on plane in VERY skinny water. Let's define flying as my estimate of 25-30 knots. Let's define skinny as 12-18" (most places it was easily < 10"). The flats on the interior part of Simmons part was high and dry when I was launching.
  North of the channel I could not see them, but as they rounded the corner to the Northern channel their intent was very clear. They were going up the channel.
  When they bottomed out the rooster tail was at least 5 ft - it was probably more. I'm using the engine as reference. The water was all brown - hence the hole.
  They did try to power through the flat. Upon impact they appeared to have attempted to accelerate.
  As I went North in my canoe I saw a skeg mark for as long as I looked for it. In most places I was walking my canoe on an incoming tide - so the water was skinnier when they were running.
  The did have guns on their hips and they were shooting video. Their hats were on backwards. Frankly they looked the part - FWC and probably plain clothes law enforcement at work.
  We did offer assistance - twice. We were wearing waders so we could have helped rock the boat. After I volunteered a second time they said - "No we have help coming."
  High tide was at 8:30pm - the time of the incident was roughly 1:30/1:45pm.
  They did not attempt to free themselves at the time of impact nor as we left to go fishing.
  They all looked safe and uninjured so we left them be. I suspect they were quite embarrassed and didn't want some civilians assisting.
  The picture was taken in raw format on a Canon T2i - 24MB. The original is still available. With the exception of some sharpening (as all raw photos need a bit of sharpening), cropping, and shrinking the file to 600x400, I did not doctor the photo. In other words the scene is accurate - nothing was added/removed.
  I took the picture from shore - since the tide was out I was in the dry mud about 2ft passed the concrete barriers; we were loading the canoe.
  After about 2 hours we did hear them crank up and power out. It took two attempts. Where they went I'm not sure, but I can say that I did not see them in the channel as we fished it - all the way from the end to the opening.
  In addition to myself, there were two witnesses in our party to the above. There were several more bank fishermen saw/heard it too.
  Since they made no attempt to free themselves, and did not want assistance I'm assuming that there was no emergency.

I've no intention on escalating the matter. If the FWC wants to investigate further they can reference the video the officer in the front has, or I can provide them the original photo and they can reference this thread.

OK - those are my facts. What is their version of the story? I've no clue. Was someone reported as injured, was someone breaking the law, was Timmy stuck in a well...got me. I didn't ask. Would you?

All that aside I thought the Miami Vice references were pretty funny and a complete editorial. The quotes were accurate - I did not make those up. The Sponge Bob reference may have been over the top, but I thought it was funny too.

I suspect that had I been driving my boat as they were I would have had at minimum 3 violations. No wake, manatee zone, destruction of sea grass. I suspect that there would have been a major ass chewing too. No I don't have an axe to grind with FWC - just adding some levity to what was clearly a series of violations to any a civilian.

We didn't catch a dang thing, but I was laughing quite a bit. It was very Benny Hill/Key Stone Cop-ish. I did use the incident to illustrate to my son on how not to motor boat. So the incident wasn't totally a waste of time/effort.

[Urban Legend II]

OK, I understand the seriousness of the scenario, and the reality of the saying "What's good for the goose..." or "Do as I say, and not as I do", but I have to say your narrative was freaking hilarious!!!

[DavidtheProducer]

That's horrible...but GREAT story!

[0119]

Wow you guys are a mean bunch, makes me glad I hung up my badge. Truly though, nobody hates the cops more than me, I earned it though. Like everybody else in the up and coming generation, the 'adults' that are law enforcement officers now have no common sense...just like everybody. Just look at how 'adults' dress now or drive or talk..... Nobody can treat another person with dignity let alone someones property. They sure arent gonna give a crap about sea grass or a law. Even the lousey judges could give a crap about wildlife laws.

[shallow pockets]

All those officers looked like a bunch of idiots. Way to be professional FWC. Wearing hats backwards running accross skinny water in a no wake zone. Un Real! Were they running emergency to a call?