PFCS review and info for newbies

[Rik]

Good morning class. Today we will review the PFCS procedures in an effort to help you complete the course with great success and the smallest expenditure possible. This will be in Q&A format and I will answer my own questions. I know many of you think you are old hands at this but most of you can't remember to put your pen in the pen bag at the end of the day so pay attention.

What happens at the sign in?

You will show up at the sign in sometime between 6:30 and 7:00. If you show up early don't expect to get signed in early. You will patiently stand in line and, if you've had enough Red Bull, talk smack with anyone who can hear you. When you get to the head of the line, you will greet the Tournament Director with a smile and a FIVE DOLLAR BILL. Let me repeat, a FIVE DOLLAR BILL. You will hand that FIVE DOLLAR BILL to the TD, grab a plastic bag, tell the TD your name and the number on the token in your bag. Then you may leave.

If you show up at 7:01 or later it is highly unlikely that you will find anyone there. If the TD is still there, he will expect you to pay 2 FIVE DOLLAR BILLS since you are cutting into his fishing time.

Okay, did that and now I'm at the launch. Now what?

You will get ready to launch and take a picture of your kayak. Any fish pics to be judged must be after that pic of your kayak. After doing that and once the clock strikes 7:20, you may launch and go fishing.

What should I remember when I catch a fish?

First, keep your body parts away from the sharp parts of the fish and the lure. Now take a pic of the fish on your measuring board. Review the other posts about taking pics. One very important thing to remember, as several who have cried in their beer after forgetting, is to MAKE SURE YOUR TOKEN OR NUMBER IS IN THE PIC. If it isn't there, the pic does not count. Period. Doesn't matter if 10 people attest to your catching it and it's length. No number, no count. Your takeaway from this is simple - MAKE SURE YOUR TOKEN OR NUMBER IS IN THE PIC. It's almost a guarantee that someone will forget. Make sure it is not you.

Note: please do this whole picture thing in a timely and gentle manner. Be ready to take the pic before you catch the fish. Leaving the fish in the water on a fish grip while getting set up is a good idea. Minimal handling and minimal time out of the water is the goal.

What time is the judging cut off?

We will stop taking submissions at 2 pm. That is 2 pm as shown on the TD's phone. Doesn't matter if your watch or the clock on the wall says 1:55.

Okay, what do I do when I walk into the Pic n' Sip?

Pay close attention as this is where mistakes can get costly. You will fill out your tally sheet that was included in the plastic bag you get in the morning. You will use your best and clearest hand writing. Fill in all the boxes and double check your math. Then you will take it to the judging table where it will be received by the TD and his helper. They will number your submission. Don't dally on getting this done as a tie goes to whoever submitted their sheet first.

btw, fish are measured in quarter inches (not tenths of an inch) rounding to the closest quarter. Example: 27.25, 27.50, 27.75, 28.00.

You will not hang around the judging table asking whether you are in the running or who is winning or what the biggest redfish is so far or trying to peek at the computer screen or trying to show us the pics you took. All of these offenses have a penalty ranging from buying the TD and his helper their lunch and/or buying a round of drinks for the house.

You will then take your plastic bag, token and pen over to the collection table. Your bag should be laid out nice and flat on the pile of bags (not crumpled and tossed as if trash), your pen should be capped and put in the bag containing pens and your token should be wiped reasonably clean and put in the bag of tokens. Failure to do this correctly may result in a penalty of having to buy a round of drinks for the house.

Then you will go find a table with people who might believe the lies you are about to tell of all the huge fish you caught. Keep in mind that some may try to goad or distract you into not following some of the above rules. These guys will typically have a very thirsty look on their face.

If we need to see your pics, you will be called to the judging table. Please arrive promptly when called unless you are in the middle of buying a round of drinks for the house. We'll give you a few minutes if that is the case. You'll hand your digi card to the judges who will then review your pics. Any compromising pics of you and/or your girlfriend will get extra scrutiny and will probably be saved for later use - like when the bar tab is handed out.

Okay, you say I won. What now?

If you are announced as a winner, you will walk up to the front of the class to accept your award. Pictures will be taken so make sure your fly is zipped. You will be required to give an acceptance speech detailing what lure(s) you used to catch the fish and where you caught them. There's no need to do a grammy performance thanking everyone who has ever had contact with your life but telling the TD that is he a fine, decent and quite handsome guy is a nice touch. Just keep your hands to yourself, please.

It's 3 pm now and everything is done. What do I do now?

First off, if your brain has disconnected from your evil hand and that hand has poured too many drinks down your own throat, call a cab to get home. Or get a ride from one of the other anglers. Okay? Got that?

Now, pay your bill and tip the waitress generously. She probably deserves it for not objecting to your ogling for the past couple hours.