Freakin' rookies

Slime Bandit · Post by **Slime Bandit** » Wed Dec 30, 2009 4:09 pm

I would like to formally suggest a legal REQUIREMENT for ALL renters of watercraft to install
EEPIRBs (Emergency Eliminators for Peckerheads In Rented Boats).

These could be cheaply manufactured, because they would not require GPS technology OR any type
of receiver OR transmitter. Consisting only of a small, waterproof unit containing an initiator
button, a blasting cap and a few ounces of Semtex encased in powdered magnesium, these devices
would simultaneously both improve the gene pool AND melt/vaporize any small watercraft they
might be in, thus eliminating any future menace to navigation.

Since organized rescue efforts are extremely costly---not to mention the risks they inherently
pose to rescue personnel---the government could actually SAVE money with a federal program that
promptly reimburses the renter for the full cost of the watercraft. This would jump-start the
entire watercraft manufacturing industry, create thousands of new jobs, AND provide badly-needed
stress relief to the overworked personnel in Communications.

==========

"Uh, hello? Is this the Coast Guard?"

"Yessir. How can we help you?"

"Uh, I'm in one of those, uh, kayak-things, and I'm lost and it's dark and I'm freezing!"

"Sir, do you have any cold weather gear?"

"Uh, no, it was sunny outside when I rented this thing, so I was only wearing a jockstrap
and sunglasses. Could you send a few helicopters and one of those giant Coast Guard cutters
to come get me? Also, is there any chance I could get a large pepperoni pizza and a couple
more beers?"

"Do you have any idea where you are, sir?"

"Uh.....well.....I'm pretty sure I'm somewhere in Florida. Maybe on the west coast. I think."

"Oh, no problem then, sir! You see that little orange box right in front of you? Just press the
big red button on it."

"Uh.....hang on a minute.....oh, you mean thi-----------"

==========

Write your congressman today. Tell him: "We need mandatory EEPIRBs.....NOW!"

skinnywater · Post by **skinnywater** » Thu Dec 31, 2009 6:15 am

That there is a good idea!

Heywood · Post by **Heywood** » Thu Dec 31, 2009 8:43 am

Why not hold the owners of the rental companies responsible?

Mandatory EEPRIBS would be a terrible idea. You know how many false calls the coast guard would be responding too? All the while someone who really needs their help drowns because some hippy got lost in the river and activated an EEPRIB.

Rik · Post by **Rik** » Thu Dec 31, 2009 8:55 am

uh, Heywood, did you read the post about EEPIRBs (which is something all together different that EPIRBs)?

Heywood · Post by **Heywood** » Thu Dec 31, 2009 10:28 am

Rik wrote:uh, Heywood, did you read the post about EEPIRBs (which is something all together different that EPIRBs)?

No, entirely to long. I take it I missed the joke. Sorry

Fishaddict · Post by **Fishaddict** » Thu Dec 31, 2009 3:14 pm

Rik wrote

uh, Heywood, did you read the post about EEPIRBs (which is something all together different that EPIRBs)?

You said " No.. too long.. "

I suggest you read all of the posts before replying.. It really was funny...

Instead you look...

HAPPY NEW YEAR anyway...

fishinfoflounder · Post by **fishinfoflounder** » Fri Jan 01, 2010 10:44 am

justabucup wrote:Does not speak well for college entrance requirements at Edison.

Where is Dean Vernon Wormer with the talk of fat dumb and stupid is no way to go through life

I believe it was "fat, drunk & stupid"

Evan · Post by **Evan** » Fri Jan 01, 2010 11:47 am

chincy wrote:Do they get an invoice for the expenses?

My home state of Colorado passed a law about ten years back that victims must pay for their own rescue. (Turns out that just firing up the helicopter will cost you $10,000). Fortunately, there is "rescue insurance" built into the price of all fishing and hunting permits, so licensed sportsman are immune. I guess FL should consider the same thing if taxpayers are sending the coast guard after inshore kayakers?!

Willie T · Post by **Willie T** » Fri Jan 01, 2010 2:46 pm

Holding rental agencies responsible is kind of on par with holding lending agencies responsible for people getting in debt way over their heads. I mean... what dumb government would do something like that? Oh wait........

DaveR · Post by **DaveR** » Fri Jan 01, 2010 7:48 pm

Right on Willy. Personal responsibility is what should be focused on here, not more rules and regulations.

americanrobster · Post by **americanrobster** » Sat Jan 02, 2010 1:31 am

DaveR wrote: Personal responsibility is what should be focused on here, not more rules and regulations.

I agree. People need to take more responsibility for thier actions these days.

kneedeep · Post by **kneedeep** » Sat Jan 02, 2010 9:17 am

Responsibility is the key!! I agree.. I've been to the Estero River rental place before because of a Manager's meeting/Canoe trip. ( luckily I was odd man out and had to paddle a Tarpon 140)

It was amazing to me, after watching some of my fellow Managers flounder about, how some folks just do not understand what you can run into out there. I mean REALLY!! Going on a camping trip and you do not even have a compass??!!! Much less a GPS??!! The folks at the rental place were very nice people and it's too bad they can't plug a DumbA$$ meter in to every person who wants to rent a boat..